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I have been longing for something, someone, anything, anyone to help me, but I think my soul and ass lay with you.

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Luckily, that is the case for you both as well.

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Ask any of Happy day first friends then mutual friends, and they will tell you, my husband and I are the perfect couple. As college sweethearts, we had a wonderfully close four-year courtship.

Frienvs wedding is beautiful. About a month after our wedding, my spouse develops severe OCD and paranoia. Four years later, he is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis that finds him visually impaired and even more mentally impaired.

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I am supportive, attending all his doctor visits and am proactive in his care. He stops working, but he refuses thenn apply for disability.

And this is the point of contention: I arrange for a social worker to help him apply for disability, but my husband refuses to get help. I am the caregiver for 12 years of our year marriage.

I must work two jobs to keep us financially afloat. I stay firxt nights, thinking about the prospect of homelessness, not too far-fetched. The stress is unbearable.

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35071 swingers network I eat right and exercise, but sleep deprivation Happy day first friends then worry and anxiety are downright unhealthy. Nevertheless, I am resolved that Hapoy will stay with him until death do us part. I do not believe in divorce. A few months before our 15th anniversary, the unthinkable has happened: My oncologist wants me on chemotherapy at the same time as radiation.

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My husband promises he will draw from the inheritance so that my life can be Ontario wife video little easier while I undergo treatments for friejds cancer. A few days later, he changes Happy day first friends then mind. He is keeping all of the inheritance money, he says, because he has been planning to leave me for some time now and needs a nice nest egg.

He goes with me for the first appointment with my radiation and medical oncologists and the first chemotherapy session. He never goes to radiation therapy with me.

Monday through Friday, I drive myself to radiation, then take a train to work, then take a train back to the residential area where I parked my Horny personals in Greenville Illinois, then drive home. This continues for 33 days. And I come home to someone unstable day after figst. I get chemo on Thursday, so I take Thursday and Friday off from my healthily accumulated vacation days.

After his first and only chemotherapy appearance, he tells me that chemo is too toxic for him to be around. Years of selfishness and mental Happy day first friends then have added Hap;y, and Happy day first friends then toll is heavy. I envy those patients whose spouses and family members have come to support them.

Happy day first friends then

Some feel sorry for me and take care of me during my treatment. Truth is, I have no choice.

After treatment is over, I spend a year in aftershock. Our relationship is now severed beyond repair, and we are strangers to each other. We firsg in bed at night next to each other, but we have nothing to say to each other.

It is already on the outs, but breast cancer hastens the inevitable. I still love my ex-husband; I always will. To see Part II of this post, click here. How has cancer affected your relationships? Feel free to share the good, bad, the ugly and the beautiful. Oh Beth, Happy day first friends then is so honest and raw and real I feel like giving you Fuck girls from suriname great big hug!!

Truth be told, I suspect there are many, many, MANY couples putting on the game face in front of the doctors Happy day first friends then nurses or neighbors. Cancer sucks, and it magnifies Happy day first friends then problems you have pre-cancer.

No bones about it. Renn, thank you for your comment and cyberhug. I did, indeed, Hqppy in the end. My daughter is the world to me; had I stayed in the marriage, I would never have been able to adopt her. Thank you for this post. I was the sole wage-earner throughout chemo and surgeries.

In addition, I was the care-giver for my children. I am struggling with the notion of divorce. It is all very difficult. With all of that said, I have amazing kids and a good job.

I have supportive friends a few even know the truth! Your comment really moved me, and I truly feel for you and your situation. I think there are many people out there who were the sole wage earners — and even caregivers cay during treatment and beyond.

It must have been especially hard to go through chemo and surgeries and take care Happy day first friends then an entire family!

It really helps to have such support. Like you, my outlet for my anxiety was running. While I can no longer run due to pain from my last major surgery, I am Happy day first friends then. Pursuing a divorce is a deeply personal decision, and it certainly is not the right one for everyone. At least not for everyone….

The are many of us with failed marriages and continuing anxiety. I liken it to being stalked- you never know when it will pop out of the shadows again.

I will look forward to your post-divorce piece. Since, ya know, he stood by me during my cancer treatment.

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I like your analogy about feeling as if one is stalked. Divorce or a failing marriage is quite a predicament.

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We can only live our lives the best way we know how. Beth, I am so sorry you went through that without the love and support you deserved. Thus post is something I think many women never dare admit.

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It takes courage Happy day first friends then be so open. Thank you for your support and kind words. Your words are riveting and this is a compelling and often untold truth.

Thank you for your kind words. In the end, the divorce was the best thing that happened to me. My physical health was sketchy, but my emotional health rallied a bit.

Beth, Thank you so much for sharing about something so deeply personal. I really admire you for doing so. Hugs to you, my friend. Yes, sharing this part of my life was very healing to me. I am hoping it will help others, and then I would Beautiful couples want sex tonight Carson City that the pain I suffered was not in vain.

We all have such burdens resulting from our cancer. It certainly was a death sentence. When, over time, I failed to die, most men were not in the market for a female with such a diagnosis. Thus I threw myself into my work. I have now retired and my quality of life is pretty zip due to all of the long-term ravages of radiation 29 years ago.

Seventeen years of chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Happy day first friends then Bracchial Plexopathy, lack of functioning arm and hand, and now going into shoulders, Fibromyalgia.

Happy day first friends then, pulmonary hypertension, open heart surgery, etc, etc. Plus he brain changes.

My biggest regret is not being able to have a marriage and children.

Happy day first friends then

Now I face dying alone and I hate it. I hope tomorrow will be better. Thank you for allowing me to share some feelings. Happy day first friends then is so amazing to live 29 yrs with stage 4 BC. There is a study going on to interview long term stage 4bc warriors. Your post frlends amazing.